I'm still fighting this cold or allergies, whatever it is. I have cold symptoms, but I have allergy symptoms too. I had been taking my allergy medications before I came down with the cold part, but now it seems I have sinus pressure and headaches. i even took my allergy medications while I was taking the cold medicines. I'm tired of dealing with this garbage, so I'm going to hopefully get in to see the doctor this week and get something that will work and finally make it go away.

I saw my therapist last week, and on the 29th I will start to take anxiety classes. The 29th is just the overview class and the decision as to how to proceed from thier and what anxiety line I will take from here.

My medications are working really well for the depression part. The combo I have is much more beneficial to me that previous medications. I still have bad days-about 3 a week, but I'm working on that with lists of things to do. I have been working on some things from my past and trying to reconcile them in my head and heart. I'm starting to feel more at peace. I'm starting to appear and be more happy and a little more bubbly, and that is a start. It is an improvement, too.

The main focus now is just to work on the anxiety part and trying to get it under control. I need to try and pick up those tools again that helped me cope and overcome it, again.

As for this weekend, it was okay. I just feel so miserable, but I went out back in the sun on Saturday hoping that the warm sunshine would help me to feel better while I planted some bulbs in posts. The wind was blowing and it really wasn't that warm. I was a little bummed. I did enjoy a nice glass of wine, too. I only drank about half a glass.

Yes, you heard me right. I had a glass of wine. I don't think I will be damned to hell and that the Lord will punish me for that. I do not believe he is vindictive like that. It's not like I go out and get sloshed everynight. It's just a glass of wind for heaven's sake. I didn't even drink within an hour, the glass lasted me through dinner. It has good qualities, too. I drank a sweet red wine, which are rich in antioxidents and phenols that help decrease the risk of heart disease, blood clots, hypertension, relax blood vessels and help healthy cholesterol. (Giordano, R. 2006. Retrieved from www.thedietchannel.com). I honestly don't think an occasional glass of wine or a margarita is that bad.

Last week, I met with a friend that has been dealing with a lot of medical issues and she doesn't really have a diagnosis. There is a lot of speculation from the doctors but still a lot of run around and definitive answer. It is frustrating for her and she is dealing with some depression now. We talked for about 45 minutes here and then another hour after she got home. We have started to create a wonderful bond and friendship. We talked about health and depression and she asked how I have been dealing with all of besides just through medication. I shared some of the ideas that Mom and Dad have shared with me, the books I have read (and I'm lending them to her), the list idea from mom, my inspiration journal, my callings in Primary, my crafts, this blog, helping others, and the Jarom and the dog and extended family. She liked the ideas i shared and I was inspired to get a special journal for her and start an inspirational journal for her. I'm going to start her off with all the wonderful quotes and advice that I have been given by writing them in her journal and then present it to her. The books are a book of poems on healing from Mom, the other is one my boss gave me called The Secret of Letting Go. My callings in the Primary as the secretary and the Activity Days leader has really brought a lot of sunshine to my days, too. My crafts give me an outlet to just relax and do something I really enjoy. My blog is an outlet to share my feelings and days, which turns to further insight into me, for me to heal. Jarom has been the best husband. He is helping however he can and pushing me but not pushing to hard. Gus and Miss are just pure love. Having my mom drop work for a week to come visit me, was a huge help. I think that was a turning point for me, and the upcoming trip in May to Utah, will do me a lot of good too. I need to be around family. It does me a lot of good.

We watched the Water Horse Saturday afternoon, too. It was a very cute movie. It had a bulldog in it, too. He was so cute, but he wasn't what I would consider a very nice bulldog. However, our Miss would have probably chased Crusoe, too, if he were found roaming around our house. Jarom and I both enjoyed it. It was a cute movie and I think we both would reccommend to everyone as a must see movie.

Jarom took the dogs with him to the shooting range Saturday morning. They shot out that front door once their collars were on. They get so excited! They know that when the collars go on they are going somewhere in the car.

In the evening this weekend, Jarom worked on his John Wayne puzzle while I worked on cross stitch projects. They are just small ones, but they are taking quite a bit of time. Some have quite a bit of detail. I'm working so hard on these because they are Mother's Day gifts. That is only a few more weeks away.

Miss is still glues to my hip, everday. She is getting in the habit of getting on the couch when Jarom gets up. I almost think she thinks that it is her couch, and she can come up any time without being invited. When we tell her no, she just looks at us with thos big round eyes of hers-giving us the "But why?" pity look. It is almost irresistable.

They both have been really spoiled by being allowed to sleep with us on the bed. Miss, always on Jarom's side of the bed and Gus cuddling up to me. When Jarom gets up Miss moves over and cuddles up to me opposite of Gus, and all three of us are cuddled together keeping each other warm and cozy.

My goals for this week are: to get my room organized and back together again, finish three cross-stich gifts and just a few things at the grocery store. I haven't been cooking much so we have a full freezer and fridge and we don't need too much.

"In order to find yourself, you must first lose yourself in the service of others." Mahatma Gandhi