Well, I can't sleep, so I thought I'd pass the time and write a new entry. I have no idea why I'm not tired. I should be out like a light!
It has been an off week as I transition off of one medication and onto another.
I had a rather productive day. I was feeling good and it was a beautiful day and no wind, so I took advantage of both of those circumstances and took to the front yard. It was such a mess, with weeds and grasses overtaking my plants and my rose bushes needed to be pruned considerably. Everything was dry , but not too dry, because I was able to get to the weeds up rather easily. The hardest part was trimming the rose bushes with all their thorns. I have so many little cuts and pokes from them, but it is a small price to pay for such a beautiful product in the end.
There were a lot of dead spots, so I cut them way down, but they will be growing and blooming again in no time. I had to completely cut down my two climbing roses, because our wind storms destroyed my trellis. I have to get a new one now, but in order to get the old one out and get a new one in, they needed to be cut down dramatically. Now, I just need to find a new trellis. I guess it was good to do it, I found some diseased areas, but it was really starting to grow well and climb the trellis. I had the main branches weaved into it and the rest filled itself in. Oh, well.
I was able to get most of the front yard done. I still have some work to do to get rid of some of the wild grasses that have grown in between a couple rose bushes, but that won't take long. I didn't do it today, because after I got what I had done I was starting to be eaten alive by mosquitos. I have four bites that I can see, but I think I have a fifth, in the middle of my back-it is really itchy. I didn't think I would need bug spray in the middle of th day. I finished just about the time Jarom got home and he finished putting my clippings in the yard debris bin for me, while I got the Round-Up and shot some of the weeds in the cracks in the driveway and brought out the trash and recycling.
I brought Gus and Missi out with me to enjoy the sun and just be outside. They did pretty good. Well, Gus did extremely well. He never runs off, he just finds a spot, plants it and chills. Occasionally, he will move to a shady area or vice versa or closer to me and watch me work, or just find a stick to chew on.
Missi did okay. She stayed in the yard for the most part, but when the neighbor came home she bolted. When I called her to come back, she ignored me and when I went to get her, she ran from me; so she was banned from the yard for a timeout in the house for about 15 minutes. I let her back out until the neighbor came back out to leave again, and she repeated her little performance, and back in she went. However, I let her come back out, once Jarom got home, so he could help me watch her. She had fun running her marathon circles around the yard and her and Gus played a bit-that was when she got bored of watching me. I do have to give her credit, she saw some people walk by and a cat across the street and just watched. I told her to stay here, but you could tell she was really thinking about running after them. I'm just so pround that she didn't and stayed in the yard like I told her.
They are sleeping rather well, this evening. Jarom brought them up on the bed with us, and Gus curled up with me with his head at my chest and my arm around him. Missi started off on Jarom's side, but ended up at about my calf. Right now, they are in the living room with me, snoring away. Gus is at my feet and Missi is in front of the fireplace. Hope is next to me on the couch, sleeping on my blanket, and Minnie is on the back of the chair.
I am getting a nice gift tomorrow evening. My mom is flying in to visit for a week. Jarom called and asked her to come and spend time with me and help me out. I'm excited to see her, and I know it will do me some good to be with her. I just wish my dad could come too...at least for the weekend. I do think it will do me good to be with my mom for awhile and do some of the things we don't get to do so much anymore and just visit.
I think I'm finally getting tired, so I'm going to try retiring to bed again. Besides, I need all the energy I can get to battle the grocery store later in the morning.

I love Primary and I love serving in the Presidency and seeing all those cute little faces. Yesterday, was challenging, but I was completely calm and cool, I just hoped that I exuded confidence and poise. With Anne out of town, I knew I would be conducting, but I did Sharing Time, too, because Tabitha was really sick. A lot of people have been sick and still are really sick. There were not very many people at church and both the junior and senior primaries were sparse. My throat is a little soar today, and I think the children were a little tired of me talking the majority of the time, but they did pretty well. We weren't as reverent as normal, but it wasn't a completely out-of-control monkey house, either. I just had to remind them how sad Jesus and Anne would be to see them so irreverent. Sister Garbett, was wonderful with them during singing time and such a great relief to have conducting the music. I don't know anything about conducting music. Mary helped cover the hall the 2nd hour and Melissa was called as the 2nd counselor. She helped with some of the classes who didn't have teachers during Sharing Time, by sitting with them if they weren't be reverent and listening or participating. She also, helped with the hall the 3rd hour. The Bishop even stopped by and peeked in to check on us.
Getting the Primary room ready is quite the chore. I'm so used to helping or having someone help me that I didn't realize how much work it was to do alone.
My throat is a bit sore today, and I came home and after eating lunch, took a nap, but I was very pleased with how things went. I think I was just anxious about how things would go before each Sharing Time.
Thank goodness, Tabitha had a Sharing Time lesson planned. I don't know what I would have been able to come up with, if she didn't have one. We learned about D & C and in junior Primary we played a match game. They had time to get about 5 matches. Senior Primary did a picture grab bag. Whatever they drew out of the tin they were all in they had to share with us what they knew about that subject listed. If they got stuck, they were allowed to ask someone from their class help them out.
All in all, with the anxiety I had, I still felt peaceful and at ease about everything. Heavenly Father's way of telling me everything would be fine.

I think I may make this a weekend ritual. It was nice to have all my babies snuggling with me (except the cats). The cats weren't there, because they were locked in the laundry room until Minnie is no longer in heat; which I'm happy to report she no longer is. Thank goodness, I've taken all I can handle of that horrible whine.
Anyway, I couldn't sleep last night and it's not because I slept all day. I was up at 8am and didn't take a nap. I stayed up reading until 1:30am this morning and then decided to try to sleep, but to no avail. I tossed and turned until I finally got up at 4:30 and watched a little television and drank some warm milk. At about 6:30, I finally started to feel a little drowsy, so Missi and I headed back to the bedroom. This little girl follows me everywhere-she truly is my little protector. However, this time I brought both pups up on the bed to snuggle with us as I curled up to Jarom.
Lately, both dogs have been squeezing me out of my side of the bed and pushing me into Jarom; or Gus curls up next to me (usually with his butt in my face) and Missi on Jarom's side. This morning was different. When I brought them onto the bed and got myself into a comfortable position, Gus snuggled up to Jarom and Missi snuggled up to me. Her little round head rested just below my pillow, and she was just so peaceful and content. She looked so cute-as always. Gus, apparently crowded out Jarom, like he normally does me. He likes to lay sideways and stretch out as far as he can from you and the edge of the bed, pushing you more toward the middle; cramping and squeezing you. He does love to share our bed. I woke up at some point and Jarom was out of bed and I had a dog on each side of me snoring away and cute as can be.
I do enjoy cuddling with them in our big, warm bed. One of my other favorite past-times-since we got Gus as a puppy-is to watch them sleep. They are just so cute and peaceful.

SURPRISE! HOUSEHOLD CLEANERS

Clean Your Dishwasher with Lemonade Kool-Aid Original Purpose: Quenching your thirst.Aha! Use: Cleaning lime deposits and iron stains inside the dishwasher. Pour a packet of lemonade Kool-Aid (the only flavor that works) into the detergent cup and run the dishwasher while empty.Reward: The citric acid in the mix wipes out stains, so you don't have too.

Mesh Veggie Bag as Pot Scrubber
Original Purpose: Toting home potatoes, onions, and tomatoes on the vine.Aha! Use: Scrubbing up after dinner. Cut ends open, scrunch, add soap and water — and hand to husband.Reward: After a gooey mac-and-cheese cleanup, you can throw this freebie sponge away guilt-free.

Dust Lamp with Lint Roller
Original Purpose: Restoring your black turtleneck to its fuzz-free glory. Aha! Use: Dusting a lamp shade. Run the roller up and down the outside to get rid of what shouldn’t be there.Reward: No citations from Sergeant Clean Sweep, a.k.a. Mom.

Remove Food Stains with Lemon
Original Purpose: Cooking. Aha! Use: Removing tough food stains from light wood and plastic cutting boards. Slice a lemon in half, squeeze onto the soiled surface, rub, and let sit for 20 minutes before rinsing. Reward: A house that smells like a lemon grove.Other Use: Washing up after eating or cooking fish. Rub lemon on your hands and rinse.

Baking Soda as Silver Polisher
Original Use: Making cakes rise.Aha! Use: Wash items, then place on aluminum foil in the bottom of a pot. Add a baking-soda solution (1/4 cup soda, a few teaspoons salt, 1 quart boiling water) to cover for a few seconds.Reward: A chemical reaction that gets the black off the gravy boat.

Sop Up Spilled Egg with Salt
Original Purpose: Unlocking flavor. Aha! Use: Sopping up a spilled egg. Heap a handful of salt on the mess, leave for two minutes or so, then wipe up. Reward: The egg sticks to one paper towel instead of sliding off five or six.

Use Coasters to Catch Drips in Pantry
Original Purpose: Keeping wet glasses from making rings on Mom’s mahogany coffee table.Aha! Use: Catching escaping drips of sticky stuff from bottles and jars in cupboards.Reward: Shelves that don’t require a full wipe-down after every spoonful of honey, slather of jam, or glug of olive oil.

Deodorize Shoes with Dryer Sheets
Original Purpose: Softening clothes and reducing static cling. Aha! Use: Refreshing smelly shoes and sneakers. Put half a scented Bounce sheet in each shoe. Reward: Shoes that aren't banished to the garage over-night.

Remove Adhesive with Oil
Original Purpose: Frying. Aha! Use: Removing adhesive from glass. Apply cooking oil to the sticker using a paper towel or a soft cloth, rub firmly, then rinse with warm, soapy water. (If the adhesive is stubborn, use a dab of toothpaste along with the oil.) Reward: Goo Gone be gone — one less cleaning product to buy.

Car Wax as Fixture Polish
Original Purpose: Shining up the sedan. Aha! Use: Polishing faucets, sinks, tile, even shower doors. Turtle Wax leaves behind a protective barrier against water and soap buildup, so your hard-earned sparkle will last past the next tooth-brushing.Reward: A gleaming bathroom all week long.

Deodorize Food Containers with Newspaper
Original Purpose: Information source.Aha! Use: Food-container deodorizer. Stuff a balled-up piece of newspaper into a plastic container, seal it, and let sit overnight. By morning the paper will have absorbed lingering food smells.

Shine Leather Shoes with Vegetable Oil
Original Purpose: Frying up a tasty batter.Aha! Use: Shining leather shoes. Use a damp cloth to wipe away dirt, then apply a small drop of oil to a soft cloth and rub the surface to remove scuff marks.Reward: A polished look from heel to toe.

From: www.realsimple.com February 20, 2008

6 New Uses for Home Goods You Already Own

Tissue Box as Grocery Bag HolderOriginal Purpose: Helping you through a weepie movie.Aha! Use: Storing plastic grocery bags under the kitchen sink. After Terms of Endearment has exhausted your supply of tissues, stuff the bags into the empty box.Reward: Restored order in your cabinets and bags ready for reuse.

Epsom Salt as Plant FertilizerOriginal Purpose: Easing sore muscles. Aha! Use: Fertilizing houseplants. Feed plants with a solution of two tablespoons of salt to a gallon of water once a month. Magnesium and sulfur from the salt make leaves grow bushier and encourage flowering plants to bloom more often. Reward: A greener indoor garden.

Hold a Nail in Place with a ClothespinOriginal Purpose: Keeping linens high and dry.Aha! Use: Holding a nail in place when you hang a picture. Clamp the nail in the clothespin and position it where you want the picture to hang. Steady the pin with your fingers while you tap the nail into the wall.Reward: Hitting the nail (and not your finger) on the head.

Make Champagne Bubbly Again with RaisinsOriginal Purpose: Making bran less boring.Aha! Use: Restoring bubbles to Champagne that has lost most of its fizz. Drop a raisin into the open bottle a few minutes before pouring and any last gasps of carbon dioxide that are left in the wine will stick to the raisin’s ridged surface, then release again as tiny bubbles.Reward: A little more sparkle to lift your spirits.

Prep for Ironing with Bobby PinsOriginal Purpose: Holding up your updo.Aha! Use: Prepping a pleated skirt for ironing. Slide a bobby pin onto each pleat at the hem to hold them all in place while you press. (Be sure to remove them afterward!)Reward: Pleats that are as neat as a pin.

Keep Sneakers Looking Brand-New with StarchOriginal Purpose: Stiffening a collar.Aha! Use: Preserving that brand-new look on sneakers. Repel dirt and grime by spraying a light coat of starch all over the interiors and exteriors of canvas or nylon sneakers before wearing them.Reward: Shoes that stand up to the elements.

From: www.realsimple.com February 20, 2008.

Yep! She did! She launched a full scale attack on him last night after the girls left after Activity Days. They were cooped up in the bedroom with their dad during our Activity Days meeting and more than ready to have the run of the house again. So ready that they were quite rambunctious. Now, here is my account of the events:
Gus was quietly laying by the footrest as I watched Big Brother, and Miss was by the back door lying down, when out of nowhere-Miss comes charging at Gus and jumps right on top of him! He didn't know what hit him. She started chewing on his ears and legs as he twisted and turned, trying to get her off his back. They wrestled for a few minutes and then settled down in their seperate corners, once again...until about ten minutes later when she started the attack all over again. They continued to play out these events for almost two hours, before finally settling down to retire for the night.
I tried to get pictures, but they all came out a fuzzy mess, so there are none to show. I guess the attack was Missi's way of getting back at him for all those times he feels playful and out of the blue starts attacking her by grabbing her hind legs, and she can't do much about it because she has short stubby legs (like her mama) that prevent her from retaliating. The events of last nights playful attack session was her ultimate retaliation.

My last appointment was on valentine's day, and it went well, but I was exhausted when I left from all the crying. IOP did not work for me. I had a really hard time with the doctor, and there is only one for the program. I just really felt disrespected in a way-by how he talked down to me like I was an idiot that didn't know anything. I have never taken well to people that treat me like that. In my appointment last week, i conveyed all of this to my therapist, and she said that they needed to find another way to give me support.
The plan: I'm going to try a group this Friday, called the Adjunct Group and from there we will determine further treatment. If this does not work, I talked to Dian about going to the 7-day residential treatment program. We'll see how things will go. However, my next couple of weeks will probably get rough and rocky. My medication is changing. For the next couple of weeks I will slowly decrease and stop the Zoloft and Nortrypteline, then I will start Cymbalta.
I got home, and had a nice surprise waiting for me from Jarom, of course, after the dogs said hello and got thier love. he bought me No Reservations and some night wear. We watched the movie, and it was pretty cute.
Jarom took the dogs to the shooting range with him on Saturday while I hosted a baby shower. I think they had fun. Jarom said that Miss slept the entire time, but Gus was very intrigued by all that was going on and watched from the backseat of the car the entire time. Even though they had fun, I do think that they missed me because they rushed inside.
The baby shower helped me to focus on something and brought me so much joy. To do something that special for a friend, was so rewarding for me and a lot of fun. Other things that I find are really helping me, too, are being the new Activity Days Leader and working with the 8-11 Primary girls towards their Faith in God award and prepare to enter Young Womens when they turn 12. I have been studying my scriputres more than ever, too. I've never been very good at studying them on a weekly basis or even a weekly basis at that, but since the beginning of the year I'm trying to reat at least three chapters a day. I'm doing pretty good with it-it has helped me with the Primary Book of Mormon challenge. I'm already on the reading assignment for May. Believe it or not, it will be ther FIRST time I've read the ENTIRE Book of Mormon. I know the stories and a lot about it, but I've never read it cover to cover. I've been better at reading the entire Ensign each month, too. I've always been good at reading The Friend, but I would only read a little of the Ensign. I feel stronger and more sure of some things, while I'm still struggling with others. I still have a lot of work to do, but I'm trying and I'm working on it.
There are a few other things that are helping in a therapuetic way. Some of those things are cleaning-beleive it or not. We have been purging a lot ot stuff that we don't need or use, and removing a lot of clutter from our home and our lives. We have done a lot of work, but we still have a lot to do. I'm just so proud of us for all the work we have done. Here is the real ticker--we have kept things picked up and put away. My craft room, is my our private sanctuary--I just need to move the big swirl chair into the room, but the turntables need to go first. Now, I need to actually start using the room-for work for church, studying, scrapbooking, reading, writing, and all my other activities. I'm working on a cross-stitch project and that is a great outlet and project that allows me to relax, actually and take great joy in something for once. They are two baby bibs for Celeste's twin boys. They are of bears, one is football gear and one in baseball gear. I was trying to get them finished before the shower, but it didn't happen, so I really need to get busy on them-since the babies will be arriving very soon.
I love to watch our pups as they play and sleep. I just can't get enough of thier adorable squished, flat faces. They are just adorable and so precious to me. I really do think they are our children in furry little, husky bulldog bodies.
Then, there are the kitties. Minnie stays hidden most of the day, but it currently locked in the laundry room with all she needs, until she is no longer in heat. That whine is one of the most awful sounds. Hope, however, has been quite a little lover lately. i think she just needed a little runt to whip her into shape and give her a little competition. She has been pretty tolerant of people-including Mom and Dad Culpepper and Jenna, when they were here to visit for Jarom's birthday. She still hisses, but she will let one pet her first, at least for a few seconds. She never used to like her tummy rubbed and now she will tolerate it. She is like a completely different cat.
Finally, there is my wonderful husband. I love having him close by, but I have not been to keen on coversation lately. I just want him near me, silently supporting me and he is doing a pretty good job of that. He has put up with me, and been very patient. Along with my mom and dad, he is my heroes.
I found a quote that I really like today one SparkPeople.com: "A smile is a curve that can set many things straight." I'm doing well, on my diet, too. I've lost 7 pounds. I did not wight myself last week and I have yet to do it this week because of all the bloating and water weight gain. I have gotten a lot to inspiration and support from other members and groups. I find myself consciously making healthier choices. However, I do still seem to need a daily sugar fix; usually chocolate. Thank the Lord for the 100 Calorie Herhsey Wafers, M&M's, 3 Musketeers, and Twix, and Orville Redenbacher's Smart Pop Mini bag popcorn. They are great snacks and help me stay on track since I'm a grazer and dearly need smarter, healthier options. I am even know to pick up some fruit and vegetables more often, too. For the fruits not in season, I'm buying the frozen kind.
I think I should stop there. I'm starting to ramble, but that is what is currently happening.